Being sad and vulnerable is generally seen as a negative
thing. So much so that me offering to disagree with that assessment is probably
looked at askance. I think that’s largely because we have no idea how to
comfort people, so we try to bully them out of their pathos: “You look so
pathetic.” “It can't be that bad.” “You don't need Prozac. You just need
Jesus!” So, on top of already feeling like crap, because of being made to feel
wrong for feeling like crap, we also experience a nebulous guilt about feeling like crap. But, I
offer the hope that, perhaps, being pathetic isn’t such a bad thing after all.
I don’t know if you’re aware of this or not, but one does
not decide to be pathetic. We are miserable and defenseless, and this
causes others to pity us. Great
news, you say. (And your sarcasm stings, I might add.) But, that’s a huge
difference, and one worth exploring.
OUR PAIN IS HUMAN
We’re all pathetic from time-to-time. In fact, I’ve spent
huge chunks of my life being pathetic. And I did not believe that it was an
okay place to be. But it is. Like a baby’s crying draws us to the needy child,
our state of being pitiable draws others in to show us love and compassion.
Instead, what we usually get is a bunch of what I described
above—judgment, well-meaning pabulum, and bullying. But, here’s the thing—the
truth is that it’s okay to be there. It’s completely copacetic to be in a place
of weakness and need. In fact, that might be exactly where you need to be. But
even if it’s not—if it’s just the result of living in a fallen, mean world—you
are still loved.
That truth will set you free.
It might not take away whatever the brokenness is, but it
can take away the guilt for simply existing in our natural, fallen state from
time-to-time. Because we are frail, broken vessels by nature. The sweet irony of
our holding the most expensive treasure in existence does not make us less
vulnerable. It makes us set-apart, it makes us valued, but no less human. No matter what others tell us.
OUR PAIN IS TRUTH
Our pain makes others uncomfortable. We wear masks because We
have no desire to see each others pain. Because it reminds us that our
happiness is fragile. It reminds us of pain, and lost loved ones, and a hole in
the ground with our name above it, etched in stone. It reminds us that all the
sex and all the handbags in the world won’t satisfy our emptiness.
So, even your pain—lived out in direct violation of social
mores—is a witness to the existence of a loving God.
OUR PAIN IS AN OPEN
DOOR
I’m not glorifying pain, or depression. They’re wretched
things that I wish on no one. But they are a fact of life, and not just to a
few of us. So, how dare we dissuade an aching soul of the idea that God does not love them
in their lowest moments? To think so is to reveal your need to be reminded that
God is also with us in the height of our self-righteousness.
To be pitied, in its purest form, is to be a grace
attractant. Our dull eyes and sagging hearts are flashing signs to those around
us that we need the grace of God in our lives. The faithlessness, the anger at
ourselves for screwing up yet again, the depression and self-doubt (not to
mention God-doubt) is a an open door to those with eyes to see that we are in
need. So, to be pitied is the chance to be loved in a time when we are desperately
unaware of how loved we in fact are. In that way, to be pathetic is to be
blessed.
Even in the most hurtful places, God will not allow us to be
alone. He uses our brokenness, a result of the fall itself, to bring glory to
Himself and peace to those who need it.
Are you pathetic? Filled with that which pertains to pain?
You are not less than. You are not
judged. You are in possession of full knowledge of your condition as a fallen
human being, and in the best position to fully see the wonder of the Gospel.
God is pursuing you. Even as you refuse to see the very Gospel, Jesus whispers
it softly over you.
The pug photo used under CC is credited to Audrey
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