I stood on the beach, the sand like velvet under my feet.
The sun was high above, but the clouds kept it from blinding us. The sea
air kept the heat from stifling our fun. My friend stood next to me, watching
his daughter paddling to a suitable wave on her board. She was sixteen. Her body gave an instant response the moment she decided to go from flat to standing on the board. She rode the wave in back and forth motions, then followed the board sideways into the frothing waves. A moment
later, she was flattened out on it again, paddling once more to find another wave. I
asked my friend if it was weird. If seeing her only a few years away from being
an adult was strange for him. He looked back out at her, up on a wave again, her arms out
for balance, doing the closest thing to walking on water.
My friend and I made our way back to the patio, washed the
sand off our feet, and slipped into the pool. His other two kids pointed at something at the bottom of the pool, and his son managed to get the
fist-sized crab into a net. I suppose it had made its way from the ocean a few hundred feet away to this concrete
island, with its chloride oasis. It scurried out of the net and into a corner, behind a green plastic bucket,
and stayed there for the next several hours as we laughed, swam and ate. I
wondered what would happen to it if it couldn’t find its way back out to the
shore.
The sun began to dip into the ocean and we began
gathering our things. My wife looked at me to see if I were ready to leave. I started to go, but
frowned, thinking about that stupid crab. “Hold on,” I said. I walked over and picked up the bucket the crab had been hiding behind and held it up. “I’m going to
take him down to the water.” My wife laughed and said she’d go with me.
The crab scurried behind a rock, under the table, and
finally against the wall where I managed to tip him inside the bucket. When I drop him into the sand, I
thought, he’ll understand. But as I
looked down into the bucket, as we walked along the beach, I realized how naïve
that thought was. He was curled into a fist, tucked as far into the bucket’s bottom as he could. I knew that he’d never understand. He’d only
ever fear me. He’d only ever think, in his crabby way, he’d somehow managed to escape some giant overfed predator. And, as I let him tumble from the plastic bucket onto the
beach, he proved me right. He scuttled away, turning after a safe distance, and
raising his claws, ready for a fight if need be.
“I probably saved your life, you ungrateful sucker,” I said, smiling.
Earlier that day, watching my friend’s daughter surf, he'd said to me that it wasn't easy. He talked about how difficult it was to let them make mistakes.
How difficult it was to get them to understand that sometimes you’re trying to
save them from themselves; save them from becoming you. How, sometimes, you even want to give up so you won’t get your heart
broken, but you can’t.
I think of me. I think of God. I wonder how many things I'd seen as his judgment and anger that I’d unwittingly brought on myself; the consequences of my own arrogant actions. I wonder how many times I’ve fought him as he saved me from myself.
-Chad West
I think of me. I think of God. I wonder how many things I'd seen as his judgment and anger that I’d unwittingly brought on myself; the consequences of my own arrogant actions. I wonder how many times I’ve fought him as he saved me from myself.
-Chad West
